Bulgarian traditions get it so right sometimes...
For the last two days following Sara's death all I have eaten is one sandwich and really do not feel like eating. I am certain bereaved partners/family members have been in the same situation themselves.
Part of the tradition of a passing of someone (if I am correct) is that for 40 days it is thought that the person departed is still on this earth and goes to places they once frequented and this is the time for those left behind to grieve and deal with life without their departed other than them being in spirit. Part of the customs is that each day a meal is made for you and the departed and whilst you have the meal you chat and talk as if they are there. At night a light is left on outside or inside the house for them to find their way home.
Well today pushing myself to carry on, I have started eating properly again albeit it being a smaller portion. Maybe it does not look as appetising as Sara's creations, but it is a start (honest I can cook). Nothing exciting, cauliflower cheese and a piece of gammon included for me. Although Sara did not really drink occasionally she would drink a glass of red wine made by our neighbour Jordan with a meal. So seated outside in the sun to anyone else chummering away to myself I am not replete and can continue on again through the day.
Some may think hogwash, there is no life after death or that we pass to another being on earth, but Spud effectively Sara's cat who as everyone knows could be a bit of a monster is a totally different cat now. He is more laid back and has been by side throughout the morning when I am at home, purring and wanting a fuss as I feed the chickens, water Sara's seedlings (which was a major task I must say) sweeping the path and the such, but strangest of all a thing he has never before sat on the chair set at Sara's place at the table throughout the meal and only left after I had finished.
Oh well washing to do must get on...